Archive for the 'Sex' Category

A Gentlelady Is Hard To Spot

January 7th, 2010

A gentleman is always looking for his mirror image in female form; a woman cut from the same silk cloth as he himself: The gentlelady. But in this day and age of posturing and prudishness, what qualities truly make the gentlelady stand out? Is it her dainty laugh? The size of her dowry? The [...]

 

Be he blacked out on Bombay Sapphires at his illegitimate, crossed-eyed son’s t-ball championship game, bored out of his mind whilst letting heads roll in a boardroom battle at his Bolivian cocaine refinery or just benevolently granting breath-taking sessions of sexual-bliss to all females who grovel at his seal-skinned high tops, you can always count [...]

 

Gentleladies are truly wolves in sheep’s clothing. One moment a gentleman may find himself lounging in her canopied bed, sipping a nightcap and helping her locate her diaphragm, and the next moment he’s being sexually belittled by his nubile princess and told to vacate the premises at once. And that’s escaping easily. Should [...]

 

A professional schemer and scandalmonger by day and a fearless gadabout by night, one would think the gentleman hadn’t the time to add ground-breaking artist to his repertoire. But to doubt the gentleman is foolish indeed! A longtime fine art aficionado, the gentleman has always decorated his estate with priceless paintings, forged masterpieces and Magic [...]

 

A gentleman is fond of a great many literary masterpieces, and certainly enjoys relaxing with some fantastic reading material from his favorite authors, which could include the famous works of Mr. Dickens, Mr Fitzgerald or Mr. Joe Conrad, or perhaps the lighter, more pictorial stories provided by Mr. Hefner or Mr Flynt. Being such an [...]

 

A gentleman’s glorious life is often depicted as being one constantly tethered to all things glamorous and positive, from the fawning women to the delicious caviar and cocaine buffets to the diamond monocle settings and the honorary memberships to thousands and thousands of tantalizing erotic websites. However, much like the rest of the crawling masses, [...]

 

Unlike the sex-on-steroids sensibilities of today’s desensitized drones, a gentleman and a gentlelady’s desires march to the beat of a far subtler and seductive drum. All it takes is an exposed ankle here, a nape of a neck there, a lock of hair snipped, sealed and sent for sentimentality and of course a few flirtatious [...]

 

Thanks to her endless arsenal of qualities, it can be hard to discern what a gentlelady is better at, unprotected intercourse with random strangers or parenting? The answer to this perplexing little conundrum is of course both. In fact, a gentlelady’s skills in either department are so evenly matched that she often performs them [...]

 

Be it the exact whereabouts of his tropical tax haven or his delicious family recipe for jungle juice, a gentleman (or as the French say, Le Gentleman) always plays his hand close to his chest. When romance is on the agenda, a gentleman is especially secretive regarding his intoxicating methods of courtship. While an onslaught [...]

 

When a situation calls for extreme precision, a gentleman is usually on hand to heed the call. Whether he’s dazzling archery spectators by shooting apples off the town runt’s noggin, landing narcotic-smuggling planes on narrow jungle runways, or simply pouring the perfect meniscus for his morning martini, the exactness of a gentleman’s actions is the [...]