Archive for the 'Heroics' Category

The snowy landscape of the gentleman’s metropolitan wilderness can be rife with peril; thus when traipsing about from watering hole to watering hole in the dark of the evening, a gentleman must be constantly aware of all animals lurking in the shadows, and rely on his superior survival instincts to guide him. By keeping the [...]

 

How The Gentleman Stole Christmas

December 21st, 2009

A gentleman is always in high demand, but no more so than during the holidays, when eggnog-swilling guests anticipate his arrival with the giddiness of snot-nosed children awaiting St. Nick. Never one to deprive others of his dazzling presence (or himself of a delicious open bar), the gentleman makes sure to gallivant with redoubled vigor, [...]

 

Sometimes a gentleman just isn’t himself and it takes a grotesque amount of gallivanting, a liberal amount of booze and of course the loyal services of a fellow gent-in-arms to resuscitate our hero and get him back in the saddle again. And what a glorious sight it truly is to behold a gentleman rediscovering his [...]

 

A Gentleman is Heroic

August 11th, 2009

A gentleman is well-known in the corporate world as a polite, gregarious and generous businessman with deep pockets, sound investment strategies and an utmost sense of financial propriety. Thusly, he is a well-sought partner for lucrative business dealings of all types, which are ideally struck over frosty-cold afternoon libations. However, in addition to his pecuniary [...]

 

Gentleladies are truly wolves in sheep’s clothing. One moment a gentleman may find himself lounging in her canopied bed, sipping a nightcap and helping her locate her diaphragm, and the next moment he’s being sexually belittled by his nubile princess and told to vacate the premises at once. And that’s escaping easily. Should [...]

 

Given his multitasking talents, a gentleman sees no distinction between business and pleasure. In the mind of the gentleman, business is always a pleasure, and if he can add more pleasurable activities to the whole nine-to-five experience, all the better. Over the course of his corporate conquering day, martinis are ordered, lunch hours extended and [...]

 

Whether he is hosting a post-fox hunt champagne toast at his sprawling summer estate or delighting guests at the famous weekly nachos-and-cocktails shindig at his more modest garage apartment, a gentleman always plays a gracious host, one who enjoys going out of his way to make sure his guests are both entertained and dazzled by [...]

 

By evening’s end, when the champion gentleman has braved the treacherous rapids of revelry, explored all whistle-wetting options in a 30-mile radius and been asked to kindly vacate the premises by beastly bartenders, the only task that remains on his smorgasbord of a to-do list is to satisfy his insatiable hunger with a delectable meal [...]

 

Just because a gentleman elevates his day-to-day drinking duties to an art form, doesn’t mean our hero isn’t prone to the occasional slip up, trip up or spit up. With such vast quantities of alcohol swimming through his system, the gentleman can, at the drop of a dime, switch from a genuflecting guest to a [...]

 

There’s something unique in the gentleman’s blood that compels him to be ever intrepid and adventurous, an innate itch that drives him to discover and explore new things, be it the highest and perkiest of peaks to the smallest, most private and forbidden nooks and crannies. And though much of the globe has already been [...]