Archive for the 'Gentlelady' Category

A Gentlelady Is Hard To Spot

January 7th, 2010

A gentleman is always looking for his mirror image in female form; a woman cut from the same silk cloth as he himself: The gentlelady. But in this day and age of posturing and prudishness, what qualities truly make the gentlelady stand out? Is it her dainty laugh? The size of her dowry? The [...]

 

The snowy landscape of the gentleman’s metropolitan wilderness can be rife with peril; thus when traipsing about from watering hole to watering hole in the dark of the evening, a gentleman must be constantly aware of all animals lurking in the shadows, and rely on his superior survival instincts to guide him. By keeping the [...]

 

Be he blacked out on Bombay Sapphires at his illegitimate, crossed-eyed son’s t-ball championship game, bored out of his mind whilst letting heads roll in a boardroom battle at his Bolivian cocaine refinery or just benevolently granting breath-taking sessions of sexual-bliss to all females who grovel at his seal-skinned high tops, you can always count [...]

 

Gentleladies are truly wolves in sheep’s clothing. One moment a gentleman may find himself lounging in her canopied bed, sipping a nightcap and helping her locate her diaphragm, and the next moment he’s being sexually belittled by his nubile princess and told to vacate the premises at once. And that’s escaping easily. Should [...]

 

A gentleman is fond of a great many literary masterpieces, and certainly enjoys relaxing with some fantastic reading material from his favorite authors, which could include the famous works of Mr. Dickens, Mr Fitzgerald or Mr. Joe Conrad, or perhaps the lighter, more pictorial stories provided by Mr. Hefner or Mr Flynt. Being such an [...]

 

When beckoned by the alluring wink and coo of free, delectable margaritas and beer, a gentlelady always heeds the call with a curtsy and quickly skips to the closest watering hole to grace her adorers with her appearance. Not wanting to be rude, a gentlelady is always wont to include others in her own celebrations, [...]

 

A gentleman and his automobile have long been a beloved staple around town. Zipping this way and that, fishtailing around tight turns and tooting his horn as he passes cheering townsfolk, the gentleman driver cuts quite a handsome figure with his elbow cocked out of the cab, his scarf flapping in the wind, loosey-goosey radio [...]

 

Unlike the sex-on-steroids sensibilities of today’s desensitized drones, a gentleman and a gentlelady’s desires march to the beat of a far subtler and seductive drum. All it takes is an exposed ankle here, a nape of a neck there, a lock of hair snipped, sealed and sent for sentimentality and of course a few flirtatious [...]

 

Thanks to her endless arsenal of qualities, it can be hard to discern what a gentlelady is better at, unprotected intercourse with random strangers or parenting? The answer to this perplexing little conundrum is of course both. In fact, a gentlelady’s skills in either department are so evenly matched that she often performs them [...]

 

Whether she’s attending a delightful whiskey and tea party in prohibition cellars or has just torn up the dance floor at a secret Habsburg holiday ball, a gentlelady always follows up all events with the issuance of a token letter. This letter is sometimes a simple thank you note, but can occasionally take the form [...]