Archive for the 'Fail' Category

A gentleman takes his sartorial getup very seriously, often times placing an equal amount of importance on his appearance as he does the business at hand. Indeed, maintaining complete composure is a top priority, and he’ll allow neither hell nor high water to compromise his fashionable digs regardless of the circumstances.  His pant leg’s pleat [...]

 

A gentleman hardly considers his outright market domination and boardroom brilliance labor-intensive, yet he still makes the time to celebrate the hard work of the office-drones. As the final holiday of the summer season, a gentleman uses Labor Day parties to retire his summertime, sartorial ensemble. Sporting an immaculate seersucker jacket, a flamboyant shirt and [...]

 

Since the dawn of moving-pictures, gentlemen the world over have happily congregated with their everyman counterparts in the darkened confines of cinemas to share in the communal experience of modern day moviegoing. And, whether he’s MCing his own erotic film festival while his old pal Howard Hughes loads the projector with his uncut, tentacle-like finger [...]

 

Be he blacked out on Bombay Sapphires at his illegitimate, crossed-eyed son’s t-ball championship game, bored out of his mind whilst letting heads roll in a boardroom battle at his Bolivian cocaine refinery or just benevolently granting breath-taking sessions of sexual-bliss to all females who grovel at his seal-skinned high tops, you can always count [...]

 

A gentleman is nothing if not one big bottomless cocktail of class. Zig-zagging down the street with a brown-bagged highball in one gloved hand and devilishly spinning his bow tie with the other while making AHH-OO-GAH eyes and wolf-whistling at every female he passes, our champion not only exudes elegance and sophistication, he embodies it. [...]

 

Gentleladies are truly wolves in sheep’s clothing. One moment a gentleman may find himself lounging in her canopied bed, sipping a nightcap and helping her locate her diaphragm, and the next moment he’s being sexually belittled by his nubile princess and told to vacate the premises at once. And that’s escaping easily. Should [...]

 

A professional schemer and scandalmonger by day and a fearless gadabout by night, one would think the gentleman hadn’t the time to add ground-breaking artist to his repertoire. But to doubt the gentleman is foolish indeed! A longtime fine art aficionado, the gentleman has always decorated his estate with priceless paintings, forged masterpieces and Magic [...]

 

With his gristly-like muscles rippling through his strong-man outfit, a gentleman engaging in rigorous fitness is truly a site to behold. Awe-inspring and intimidating and just generally beautiful and magnificent, this iron-pumping specimen regularly draws a crowd when putting on a display of athletic prowess and unparalleled power at the local gymnasium. Should the gentleman [...]

 

A gentleman’s glorious life is often depicted as being one constantly tethered to all things glamorous and positive, from the fawning women to the delicious caviar and cocaine buffets to the diamond monocle settings and the honorary memberships to thousands and thousands of tantalizing erotic websites. However, much like the rest of the crawling masses, [...]

 

A Gentleman is Reborn!

June 22nd, 2009

There comes a point in every mature gentleman’s life when he grows tired of the monotony of his supremely excellent urban existence and he longs to return to the simplicity of his youth. Escaping the city in the backseat of his chauffeured stretch-limousine, a gentleman arrives in the bucolic bliss of his country estate with [...]