Gentleman James Jung
Written by Erik Dane
A modern day gentleman indeed, James Jung is the love child of an Austrian ski instructor and a Brooklyn-born, former model; hence his uncanny balance of grace and ruggedness. James grew up in New Hampshire’s pristine White Mountains wilderness and its jagged mountain apexes provided the young lad with the isolation necessary to expand his imagination (for sex). Despite what doctors have diagnosed as an echoic liver, James was a late bloomer when it came to drinking, avoiding the delights of adolescent intoxication until a memorable high school party, where he punctuated the festivities by puking on a couch and forcing the family to burn the priceless heirloom in a bonfire. It wasn’t until matriculating at Middlebury College, however, that James honed his skills as a gentleman, learning the true pleasures of drink, flesh and overall tomfoolery.
Post graduation in 2003, James decided to bring his talents to New York City, where he was employed by Town & Country Magazine, working hard to inform blue-blooded ladies of new doily fashions, fun ways to spice up bridge games, and making extravagant lunch appointments for his boss while he ate Subway in his cubicle. An unsettled soul, James soon found adventure calling, leaving the magazine world first for Vermont’s Bread Loaf Writer’s Conference and later for the glitzy ski slopes of St. Moritz, Switzerland, where he personally taught the richest of the rich and their prostitutes how to ski from high peaks to mid-mountain champagne bars. Moving back to New York in 2006, James accepted an editorial position at Maxim.com, the only website with enough class and integrity to allow his lofty literary ambitions to truly flourish. Currently unemployed, you can find James at many a New York City dive bar should you have freelance writing assignments for him or even a lucrative, low-intensity job offer.
Sir Erik Dane
Written by James Jung
Caught red-handed with an issue of Penthouse Magazine at 14 years old, Erik Dane was shipped from his native Ohio to a New Hampshire boarding school. There, under the tutelage of the academy’s strict masters and the imposing shadow cast by the surrounding White Mountains, Erik first showed an interest in pursuing a career devoted to leisure, opting out of most organized sports to master the electric guitar and film parody videos of the football team (who subsequently beat him up), hoodwinking through classes, and devoting himself to the ancient and subtle art of seducing women (though sparring partners proved elusive). Erik spent the next four years at Skidmore College, where he took his first steps toward gentlemanhood thanks to a strict regiment of polo (of the pony variety), lazy summers on Nantucket, and a constantly sodden pursuit of leisure and tomfoolery.
By 2002, with a college diploma in hand and a failed jaunt to Costa Rica to become a professional surfer under his belt, Erik traveled to New York City to pursue his fortune. These days, Erik lives out his envious life in a taxidermy-decorated apartment on Brooklyn’s Gowanus Canal (the most polluted waterway in the U.S.), works in the music biz — where he can be found entertaining clients and sending his compliments to the chef at many a Manhattan Olive Garden — and moonlights as a gentleman-on-the-town with a clear understanding of the finer things in life, despite never having actually owned any of them.