A gentleman is always looking for his mirror image in female form; a woman cut from the same silk cloth as he himself: The gentlelady. But in this day and age of posturing and prudishness, what qualities truly make the gentlelady stand out? Is it her dainty laugh? The size of her dowry? The number of suitors vying for her favor? While there is never a tell tale sign identifying members of this rare breed, you can bet your bottom dollar that if the woman in question eloquently refers to sexual intercourse as “doing it,” enjoys blackout-inducing levels of drinking and will only humble herself to hang her head when vomiting into her ex’s toilet (no doubt the porcelain thrown of a gentleman!), she is, indeed, a lady of the gentlest variety.
VicariousVixen: WTF!! What happened last night! And why haven’t you responded to my texts??
RogueDame: hiiii sorry! i’ve been super emo today. i slept with the Ex last night.
RogueDame: i was so, so, so drunk. don’t remember doing it with him.
VicariousVixen: wait wait need more info please.
RogueDame: i don’t really remember! he was exactly the same. we had a great time.
RogueDame: he said i was being really funny. that when we were doing it i kept getting on top and stopping and saying, DON’T YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT FEELINGS?!?!
VicariousVixen: SHUTTHEFRONTDOOR.SLAM IT!!! bahahahahahah
RogueDame: and i slapped him
VicariousVixen: how did that go over??
RogueDame: he liked it
RogueDame: although he said this morning that it really hurt
RogueDame: but not as bad as when he spanked me. BAHAHAAAAAA
VicariousVixen: hahaha you MANHANDLED HIM!!!
RogueDame: i let him know who’s boss
RogueDame: then spent the morning in his bathroom, throwing up beet salad and tequila
VicariousVixen: hot. mess.