Archive for August, 2009

Descending from the highlands and breezing into random towns on a whiskey-scented gust of hope and charm, the traveling sales-minded gentleman is quick to become the talk of the town amongst the locals. Upon his arrival, the township jumps to attention and rushes to prepare their businesses to meet the high expectations of this new [...]


Since the dawn of moving-pictures, gentlemen the world over have happily congregated with their everyman counterparts in the darkened confines of cinemas to share in the communal experience of modern day moviegoing. And, whether he’s MCing his own erotic film festival while his old pal Howard Hughes loads the projector with his uncut, tentacle-like finger [...]


The convivial spirit of the modern gentleman is inspiring indeed. While his voracious appetite requires abundance, his refined palate dictates what edible pleasures will be consumed at any whim. Whether he is on day five of a Eurasian holiday feasting bender or simply staggering sans sleep to his favorite Vegas early-bird buffet, a gentleman always [...]


Sometimes a gentleman just isn’t himself and it takes a grotesque amount of gallivanting, a liberal amount of booze and of course the loyal services of a fellow gent-in-arms to resuscitate our hero and get him back in the saddle again. And what a glorious sight it truly is to behold a gentleman rediscovering his [...]


Be he blacked out on Bombay Sapphires at his illegitimate, crossed-eyed son’s t-ball championship game, bored out of his mind whilst letting heads roll in a boardroom battle at his Bolivian cocaine refinery or just benevolently granting breath-taking sessions of sexual-bliss to all females who grovel at his seal-skinned high tops, you can always count [...]


A Gentleman Cures His Hangover

August 18th, 2009

Whether he’s following up swigs of tequila with the tart taste of fresh limes on the back of his Zihuatanejo-bound mule, making a fortune swindling locals with his secret snake-bite syrum (Flintstones Vitamins), or just generally boozing his cares away with jeroboams of champagne and crates of beer, a gentleman always has the cure for [...]


A Gentleman is Heroic

August 11th, 2009

A gentleman is well-known in the corporate world as a polite, gregarious and generous businessman with deep pockets, sound investment strategies and an utmost sense of financial propriety. Thusly, he is a well-sought partner for lucrative business dealings of all types, which are ideally struck over frosty-cold afternoon libations. However, in addition to his pecuniary [...]


A gentleman is nothing if not one big bottomless cocktail of class. Zig-zagging down the street with a brown-bagged highball in one gloved hand and devilishly spinning his bow tie with the other while making AHH-OO-GAH eyes and wolf-whistling at every female he passes, our champion not only exudes elegance and sophistication, he embodies it. [...]


Gentleladies are truly wolves in sheep’s clothing. One moment a gentleman may find himself lounging in her canopied bed, sipping a nightcap and helping her locate her diaphragm, and the next moment he’s being sexually belittled by his nubile princess and told to vacate the premises at once. And that’s escaping easily. Should [...]


A gentleman certainly appreciates the luxuries of modern chain restaurants, which provide him with an efficient, modestly priced, and consistent menu of delicious delicacies in whatever city he may find himself. However, as the whims and fancies of the gentleman are highly unpredictable, and with his appetite fluctuating from morning nausea to intoxicated ravenousness, its [...]