Whether he’s hunting down his nemesis aboard a pirated clipper ship in international waters, or hiding out in desert caves from scorned ex-lovers and federal spy agents, or simply exploiting the third world by selling his patented zombie repellent to the child employees of his own sweat shops, its no surprise that a gentleman will frequently find himself on unfamiliar foreign turf with danger lurking at every turn. Luckily, the gentleman is well versed in customs of various cultures, is fluent in dozens of archaic languages, always carries a money clip of mixed currencies, and is more than deft at winning over even the most exotic tribesmen and women with his famous wink, smile and a tip of his hat. Before long, the gentleman is praised as a god amongst whatever exotic native civilization he happens to come across.

StatesideChap: what other news do you have?
InternationalGentleman: not a huge amount to report at the moment
StatesideChap: any tales of infidelity?
StatesideChap: excess?
StatesideChap: stupidity?
InternationalGentleman: plenty of all of the above really
InternationalGentleman: had a ridiculous time in China recently
InternationalGentleman: went out and ended up waking up in a hotel room I don’t remember checking into, with a woman I didn’t recognise, in a part of Shenzhen I had never been to before (still have no idea where I was as I got a taxi back to the bit I normally hang out in)
StatesideChap: good…
StatesideChap: many pharmaceuticals involved?
InternationalGentleman: then spent all afternoon the next day in the swimming pool of the intercontinental hotel wearing my pants (no trunks with me) charging gin and tonics to room 3041, in the name of “Chip Winchester”
InternationalGentleman: no, just booze
InternationalGentleman: the usual sort of nonsense, basically
StatesideChap: good
StatesideChap: Must get myself over for a visit

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