With the summer months approaching, a gentleman may entertain thoughts of slenderizing his usual pear-shaped silhouette to appease the throngs of seaside gentleladies who undoubtedly have been waiting all winter to swoon and fawn over the beach-bound gentleman in his fashionable aqua trousers. However, given his firm abhorrence to excessive exercise and his legendary appetite for the finest of fried clam shack delicacies, a gentleman can often find that trimming down a bit can be a conflict of interests, and the idea can be abandoned as quickly as he can down a pint of cold ale.
GentlemanJones: boy i need to take a shit bad
GentlemanJones: that bacon egg and cheese breakfast needs to exit
SirDrunkDrake: off the diet?
GentlemanJones: but there’s another dude in the bathroom, only two stalls. I can’t go when some other dude is in there
SirDrunkDrake: why not? fuck it, just bust a loaf out
GentlemanJones: i can’t, stage fright or something
GentlemanJones: diet has been placed on hold for a while
GentlemanJones: on hold until bacon egg and cheeses cease to be so delicious
SirDrunkDrake: thats a good plan
SirDrunkDrake: or until excessive drinking stops mandating the consumption of them the following morning
GentlemanJones: so until those two things stop stonewallin’ and being stubborn, the diet is on hold
SirDrunkDrake: its really out of oyur control
SirDrunkDrake: you can only control what you do
SirDrunkDrake: you can’t control the deliciousness of external factors
GentlemanJones: unless i had this tri-wolf shirt
GentlemanJones: then all its awesome powers would allow both the consumption of the BEC and the diet to exist simultaneously.
SirDrunkDrake: the wolves would gnaw at your gut all day
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