Waking up day after day with a foggy monocle precariously wedged into his zygomatic bone affords the gentleman a perspective on the world that is both wise and prescient, a permanent outlook of the future that demands excellence and foresees nothing but successful tomfoolery. Though jumping to hasty conclusions and making seemingly-brash judgement calls may be off-putting to his layman peers, the gentleman’s logic is always revealed as sound at the conclusion of his reasonable argument. Thankful indeed is the friend of the gentleman, who would have otherwise settled for much less had he been left to his own devices.
BeerMan: yo, want to go to a bar tonight after work?
Gentleman: that sounds perfect, what strip club should we go to. Passions?
BeerMan: no, i mean just a bar bar, i can’t afford a strip club
Gentleman: you’re right, Passions is a little too upscale for a Tuesday. How about Mother’s?
BeerMan: no dude, i don’t have any cash, i can’t go to a strip club. I have 300 bucks to lastme till the rest of the month. I just want to get a few beers
Gentleman: they have beers at Mothers. Plus, they have ladies derobed. You don’t have to spend any more than you want to.
BeerMan: that sounds good now, but after five beers i’ll be running to the ATM to grab all that 300 bucks, and then starve for the rest of the month
Gentleman: no you wont
BeerMan: yes, i will
Gentleman: ok yes, you will
Gentleman: but what if you just spend 100 bucks tonight and get so drunk that you’re incredibly hungover for the rest of the week, thus eliminating drinking from the schedule for the next four days
Gentleman: plus, you could do something nasty with just a little bit more cash that will give you the moral hangover necessary to want to stay in for the rest of the month, thus spending no cash (except for pizza)
BeerMan: somehow, somewhere, this is making sense
Gentleman: so, i’ll see you at Mother’s, right? 7-8pm is happy hour with free apps too. So that’s even MORE economical
BeerMan: i’m basically saving money by doing this.