Be it the exact whereabouts of his tropical tax haven or his delicious family recipe for jungle juice, a gentleman (or as the French say, Le Gentleman) always plays his hand close to his chest. When romance is on the agenda, a gentleman is especially secretive regarding his intoxicating methods of courtship. While an onslaught of flowers, singing telegrams and chloroform doused rags are undoubtedly employed on the temporary object of his fickle fancy, the crafty gentleman would prefer that onlookers simply observe an illusion, believing that his sexual success story was merely the result of a serendipitous encounter, an effortless victory so to speak. You can imagine, then, the gentleman’s distress upon realizing his methods have been compromised and his tricks revealed. Surely, gentleman HQ must go into full crises lockdown mode to weather such a catastrophe!

CraigLove: dude

CraigLove: you really, really fucked me with this flixster invite

HeartlessHarasser: you shouldn’t have clicked on that

CraigLove: yeah, well i accepted it and then it spammed everyone in my gmail address book

CraigLove: everyone i have ever emailed!

CraigLove: and the spam is coming from me

HeartlessHarasser: i know dude, it did the same thing to me, that’s why you got it

HeartlessHarasser: just send out a mass apology

CraigLove: i just did

CraigLove: which makes things worse

CraigLove: because i forgot to bcc everyone

CraigLove: meaning all the craigslist personals i have emailed over the years are right there

CraigLove: smack dab in the middle of all the fucking recipients’ emails!

CraigLove: i am freaking out

CraigLove: this email went out to EVERYONE
CraigLove: ex girlfriends, current crushes, coworkers, MY PARENTS

HeartlessHarasser: hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

HeartlessHarasser: omg i just expanded the email and saw that

HeartlessHarasser: craigslist maN!!!!!

HeartlessHarasser: dude i counted

HeartlessHarasser: you have replied to 33 craigslist personals

HeartlessHarasser: and they are listed all in a row!

HeartlessHarasser: hahahahaha

HeartlessHarasser: dude

CraigLove: what’s up?

HeartlessHarasser: has anyone said anything?

CraigLove: no…I am hoping most people probably don’t care to look
HeartlessHarasser: yeah that’s what i figure

CraigLove: but people are just getting back to me saying hello. . . people i haven’t talked to in a while

HeartlessHarasser: everyone from your past might discover your filthy ways

HeartlessHarasser: what a sexual success story you’ve become

CraigLove: fuck off

HeartlessHarasser: so were all these CL replies for sex?

HeartlessHarasser: like “i am horny lets bang”

HeartlessHarasser: or for dates?

CraigLove: i don’t remember

HeartlessHarasser: hahahahaha, yeah you do

HeartlessHarasser: this is too funny

HeartlessHarasser: CRAIGSLIST!!!!!

HeartlessHarasser: YEAH!!!

HeartlessHarasser: GET SEXY!

HeartlessHarasser: dude sorry

HeartlessHarasser: seriously are you there?

CraigLove: yeah i’m here

HeartlessHarasser: how do i contact you through craigslist?

CraigLove: go shove a fork up your ass

HeartlessHarasser: i cant believe everyone knows about your craigslisting ways!

CraigLove: leave me alone

HeartlessHarasser: hahaha

HeartlessHarasser: NET MAN!!!

Filed under: Craigslist, Fail, Random Silliness, Sex.

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