Archive for January, 2009

A Gentleman Faces a Predicament

January 30th, 2009

photo by Alan Light, via Flickr
As a gentleman progresses throughout his illustrious career of carousal and tomfoolery, he is likely to be flummoxed by certain predicaments from time to time. This becomes exceptionally true during a gentleman’s evening on the town, when his grip on his wits becomes relaxed after a few nips, and the [...]

 

It takes a lot to be a gentleman these days, but more often then not, that which defines this elite cadre isn’t necessarily the cars they drive or the schools they attended or the professions they grace with their presence periodically, nor even the sum of all those things combined. Rather, it is the lifestyle [...]

 

Super Bowl Sunday usually begins much like any other Sunday in the gentleman’s agenda, and after getting out of bed mid-afternoon and shaking off the horrors of the previous evening with a stiff eye-opening cocktail, the gentleman will realize that this Sunday is one of the greatest days of sports competition of the year, and [...]

 

A Gentleman Rides The Rails

January 27th, 2009

Over the years, gentlemen have forged a very special bond with railroads. Throughout the late 1800s and early 1900s, industrious gentlemen pushed westward with smoky locomotives, killing Indians, stealing land and amassing great fortunes in the process, while gentlemen of the crafty but lazy variety chose to instead abandon their families, gather their belongings in [...]

 

A Gentleman’s Surname

January 27th, 2009

As is grand tradition of our magnificent society, great gentlemen of the past honor their future generations by passing down one of their most precious eternal gifts: their reputable surname. The surname was, and still is, a great determiner of social class and general stature, and modern gentlemen will do their best to uphold the [...]

 

Thanks to a constant urge to satisfy females and a persistence that can be described as nothing less than positively probing, a gentleman’s physical form might as well be whittled down to a mouth, a finger, a toe and a phallus, for these are all he needs to accomplish the task at hand. Drinking martinis [...]

 

Throughout the ages, gentlemen have always wooed women with their sensitive come-ons, creative come hither advances and ingenious pleas for love. Be it the eloquently delivered sonnet, the carefully crafted love song, or midnight stone-throwing at a fair damsel’s window, gentlemen have never shied from putting themselves on the line and risking everything for the [...]

 

No matter what day of the week she emerges from her blacked out state or what type of social milieu she suddenly finds herself in, a dainty gentlelady will immediately plunge back into the boisterous, booze soaked festivities of the night with increased vigor and redoubled zeal. Headstrong by nature and thirsty by nurture, a [...]

 

Read: Mouse au Vin

January 22nd, 2009

How can you not trust a publication whose mascot sports a monocle? Impossible! Now commission the hilarious musings of Squid and The Whale writer/director Noah Baumbach and your magazine is as good a gospel. Amen. If you haven’t already, head on over to The New Yorker and check out Baumbach’s latest Shouts & [...]

 

Ever the intrepid journeyman, the modern gentleman traveler jets around the globe on a constant search for the most exclusive thrills known to mankind. Whether he’s wrestling lions in the Serengeti or hang gliding the Golden Triangle or stirring his gin tonic with Naga Jolokia chili peppers in Bombay, the gentleman’s quest for excess and [...]