As a rock and roll music festival swells and billows into a raucous three day weekend of noise and debauchery, a gentleman can be found calmly sitting in the eye of the storm, taking it all in. Anchored in the middle of the fairgrounds with a stiff drink in one hand and a concoction of uppers, downers and various hallucinogens in the other, a gentleman gamely watches nymph-like hippie gals flutter to and fro while absorbing the festival’s various aural delights with the calmness of the Buddha himself. Once he’s had his fill of everyone’s juvenile antics and wanton ways, the all-knowing gentleman rises, strolls into the VIP area, graciously refuses the invitations of countless rock stars to come “party with them backstage” and procures a handsome bicycle fitting his liking. Peddling his two wheeled steed on the open round, a gentleman is prone to screaming at passing cars and challenging them to epic bike races, all before settling into a hot tub brimming with strangers whom he quickly entrances by waxing poetic on various literary masterworks.

FestivalGman: i’m supposed to bug you about doing an interview with Eagles of Death Metal
Videographer: yeah, working on getting my boss to approve it
FestivalGman: i met that dude at Coachella
FestivalGman: invited me back to his trailer to do “pharmaceutical grade meth”
Videographer: so he is nuts?
Videographer: did u do it?
FestivalGman: i didn’t do it
Videographer: haha
FestivalGman: said he’d been up for four days
FestivalGman: he’s awesome
FestivalGman: and a republican i think
Videographer: so instead you decided to drop acid
Videographer: pinch a beach cruiser from the VIP tent
Videographer: ride back to your condo
Videographer: jump into a jacuzzi full of tattooed freaks
Videographer: and pontificate on how michael crichton’s jurassic park is far superior to the movie?
FestivalGman: mushrooms
FestivalGman: dude, it was mushrooms
FestivalGman: the rest is accurate though
Videographer: btw i still have that video of you riding down the street with your Hawaiian shirt open and your gut hanging out
Videographer: all oogly eyed and bat shit insane looking
FestivalGman: what video?
Videographer: while you’re yelling at a dude driving a trans am
Videographer: screaming
Videographer: “PONTIAC TRANS AM, that guy is gonna slam some poon TO-night!”
FestivalGman: oh that video
FestivalGman: that’s not me
FestivalGman: that was a joke
FestivalGman: but yeah, that was the same night
Videographer: haha

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