Sensing his rabid thirst for booze and after work tomfoolery, cohorts and strangers alike typically (and wisely!) greet the fiending gentleman with a complimentary cocktail and a hearty slap on the back, thus temporarily appeasing the gentleman’s insatiable soul. However, there sometimes arises a surly, over-served patron of a less than desirable establishment who grows jealous in the supreme presence of the magnificent gentleman creature, and, spurred on by the false confidence of alcohol, resorts to pathetically assaulting the gentleman. Never one to argue with a fool, a gentleman weathers such a storm of beer bottles and personal attacks in the safety of his horse drawn carriage (where his wig, facial powder and affixed moles remain intact), all without deviating from his course of heading to the bar and getting completely shit faced.

DDD: i have to tell you what happened to me on friday

ReluctantWineSwiller: ahhh what?

DDD: i was at Tap in midtown

DDD: decided to go to another bar (Steamhouse, which btw you would dig)

ReluctantWineSwiller: cool. I don’t know it?

DDD: we will go there

DDD: anyway so i’m on peachtree in front of the patio at tap and suddenly a drink flies into my windshield

DDD: BREAKING IT

ReluctantWineSwiller: holy shit

DDD: yeah

DDD: apparently some guy got kicked out of the bar for being drunk

DDD: yet was out on their patio with a pint glass in hand

DDD: but at the time i didn’t realize what had happened (read: i was drunk)

ReluctantWineSwiller: of course, how else should you be driving?

DDD: exactly. so i drove around the block and then came back when i figured out my windshield was crakced

DDD: had to fill out a police report…while wasted

ReluctantWineSwiller: daaaaaamn

DDD: haah

DDD: the cop was like “you’re going home… right?”

ReluctantWineSwiller: nice.

DDD: actually his words were “GO HOME”

ReluctantWineSwiller: but you didn’t

ReluctantWineSwiller: did you?

DDD: of course not

ReluctantWineSwiller: hahahaa

DDD: i went to steamhouse

DDD: per my original plan

DDD: but can you belive that story?

ReluctantWineSwiller: Cwazy

DDD: do you think god is trying to tell me something?

ReluctantWineSwiller: Who throws a glass into traffic?!

DDD: like “stop driving drunk”?

ReluctantWineSwiller: haha. Well I am supposedly not drinking at all until at least October

DDD: uh by your own choice?

ReluctantWineSwiller: yeah

DDD: i mean, i’m trying to cut back and all

DDD: but let’s not get unreasonable

ReluctantWineSwiller: werd, I’ll still see you at this wine tasting thing tonight

DDD: haha, totally. I expect to see you in purple teeth, vampire mode and slurring like a banshee.

ReluctantWineSwiller: only if you promise to be the DDD: Designated Drunk Driver.

DDD: but of course

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