Though his spirit is eternal, it’s true that the gentleman’s physical being is susceptible to corrosion and decay over the years. Largely a result of his hard-living lifestyle, one that sees the gentleman regularly pushing himself at daily, martini-fueled business lunches and the nightly happy hours, a gentleman has to contend with the debilitating issues of a rotund paunch, swollen liver, high cholesterol, STDs, hair loss and — for reasons unknown to even the gentleman — eczema. However, despite these odds, the gentleman weathers the storm that is life, charging and licking his chops as if he were still his 19-year old self with nothing but Pina Coladas, poon and pre-nups on the glorious horizon.

BaldMan: dude
PowerMan: what?
BaldMan: do you have a receding hairline?
BaldMan: i think i am getting one
BaldMan: sadly it goes well with my gut, but I’m not liking it
PowerMan: yeah i’ve got one
PowerMan: i’m getting a power corridor
BaldMan: sick
BaldMan: my hair is super thick, but i am not sure if the front is anymore
PowerMan: uh oh
PowerMan: you should go on propecia
BaldMan: F that noise
BaldMan: do power corridors lure in ladies?
PowerMan: I don’t know, do YOU lure in ladies?
PowerMan: for freaky deaky maneuvers?
BaldMan: yeah, like a SEX BANDIT
BaldMan: ADMIRAL ASS TO MOUTH!
PowerMan: dude
PowerMan: I’m in a client meeting
BaldMan: AAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
PowerMan: chill
PowerMan: that is disgusting
PowerMan signed off at 2:51:37 PM

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