Sometimes, a menacing recession trips up the bullish tendencies of a gentleman, sending him spiraling into the red zone. In such dire cases — when even vacancies on various boards of directors cease to exist — it is vital that a gentleman secures steady and honorable employment in order to put drinking wages in his pocket. We wouldn’t want our fearless champion to die of thirst, now would we?! Lord no. Thus, after putting his best foot forward throughout the interview process, rising above the competition like a divine yet blood-thirsty eagle, a gentleman follows up his homerunesque face time with his pièce de résistance: the expertly crafted and elquontly put thank you note.

From: Sincere Gentleman

To: Prospective Employers

Date: Fri, Sep 22, 2006 at 12:43 PM

Subject: Thank You

 

Hey, guys,

 

In the spirit of yesterday’s gang-bang-style interview, I’ve opted for a group thank you email. I hate crafting these follow-ups and I’m not too hot at sincere thank you notes either, but writing one email is easier than writing four. I call it the less = more theory. Raymond Carver called it minimalism. My ex-girlfriend used to call it, “I’m just not that hungry.” Really though, skimping on thank you emails gives me more time to reply to this chick I met on Mypsace who is new to the area and posts pictures on her personal webpage. I’m actually pretty wrapped-up in that project right now, so to expedite this whole tedious follow-up process, I’ve copied and pasted my uptight buddy’s standard thank you email below. Here it is, verbatim.

 

“Dear Sirs:

 

Thank you all for meeting with me yesterday. I enjoyed our conversation and learning more about the open editorial assistant position at [Magazine X]. I’m particularly drawn to [Magazine X]’s rich balance of service and narrative content, as well as its unparalleled history of cultural journalism. I’m eager to join your tight-knit staff and excited by the prospect of further honing my reporting, writing and editing skills while undertaking the position’s myriad duties.

 

Again, thank you. I look forward to being in touch.

 

Best,

 

Sincere Gentleman”

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