Aside from his intellect and wallet, a gentleman’s seed is the most powerful thing on earth. American gentlemen impregnated the Soviet Union with capitalism much like Tom Brady knocked up Bridget Moynahan before leaving her for Giselle (aha, checkmate!); spreading his seed is a tried and trusted gentleman tradition, written in gentleman lore and passed down through generations of gentlemen. However, though this impregnation prowess does  the world a great service by passing on the gentleman’s genes (thus assuring future generations of Nobel Prize winners, scientists, honorary degree holders, military tacticians and underground sex ring operators), it also puts the gentleman in question in a bit of a pickle: Should he curb his supreme sexual lust and ability to bed down countless classy ladies so that he not risk producing more offspring that he cannot possibly find time to “spend time with,” let alone financially support? This, fellow gentlemen, is a question for the ages…

Gyro (10:08:45 AM): we should get trixie the stripper to come out with us

Gyro (10:09:05 AM): I love trixie as if she was family

Souvlaki (10:09:20 AM): how nice, you should tell her that

Gyro (10:09:30 AM): ok

Gyro (10:09:38 AM): I will if I get the chance

Gyro (10:09:48 AM): and am drunk enough

Souvlaki (10:09:52 AM): say something like, “I love you like a sister…that I wanna bang real bad.”

Souvlaki (10:10:05 AM): that should go over huge

Gyro (10:14:40 AM): I wonder how many different girls have made me nut in my pants

Gyro (10:14:46 AM): the numbers are staggering

Gyro (10:14:56 AM): I mean it must be in the hundreds

Souvlaki (10:15:29 AM): not really something I want to ponder frankly

Gyro (10:15:42 AM): it is 3 not including my girlfriend in the last 5 days

Souvlaki (10:15:53 AM): wow

Souvlaki (10:15:55 AM): staggering

Gyro (10:16:05 AM): isn’t it unreal?

Souvlaki (10:16:10 AM): yes

Gyro (10:16:20 AM): I mean it could well be in the multiple hundreds zone

Souvlaki (10:16:43 AM): I wouldn’t doubt you

Gyro (10:16:57 AM): I would say 1 a week on average from the time I was 20

Gyro (10:17:04 AM): so you figure 13 years

Gyro (10:17:08 AM): times 52

Gyro (10:17:15 AM): 676

Gyro (10:17:28 AM): nah

Gyro (10:17:29 AM): less

Souvlaki (10:17:30 AM): no way one per week

Gyro (10:17:41 AM): did 3 in the last 5 days

Gyro (10:17:45 AM): and it wasn’t like a crazy week

Souvlaki (10:17:47 AM): you bust more than one nut each time you’re in the club?

Gyro (10:17:58 AM): twice on Saturday

Gyro (10:18:04 AM): sometime 3 if I get really crazy

Souvlaki (10:18:04 AM): wow

Souvlaki (10:18:07 AM): that’s filthy

Gyro (10:18:13 AM): yea

Gyro (10:18:16 AM): pretty gross

Souvlaki (10:18:28 AM): so you’re busting multiple times in your pants

Gyro (10:18:32 AM): yea

Souvlaki (10:18:33 AM): never cleaning up from the time before?

Gyro (10:18:42 AM): nope

Souvlaki (10:18:52 AM): just sitting and standing in liquid babies  the whole time?

Gyro (10:19:01 AM): hahaha

Gyro (10:19:04 AM): liquid babies

Souvlaki (10:20:14 AM): seriously…one girl could catch whatever STD’s you’re carrying just through your pants

Gyro (10:20:25 AM): ha

Souvlaki (10:20:32 AM): that makes my germ phobe-o-meter bounce off the rev limiter

Souvlaki (10:20:50 AM): you could almost impregnate a girl with out any skin to skin contact

Gyro (10:20:58 AM): that would be awesome

Souvlaki (10:21:17 AM): imagine a little Greek, pumpkin faced mutant running around the strip club

Souvlaki (10:21:25 AM): ohh my

Souvlaki (10:21:36 AM): that’s so disturbing

Souvlaki (10:22:02 AM): a fully mutated life form, that exists only on terrible tasting chicken wings and floaters

Gyro (10:22:12 AM): ha

Souvlaki (10:22:30 AM): a little elf-like chud

Gyro (10:22:37 AM): hahahaha

Souvlaki (10:22:50 AM): wearing old, stained, free t-shirts with malt liquor slogans on them

Souvlaki (10:23:06 AM): he probably mops up the men’s room

Gyro (10:23:10 AM): hahahah

Gyro (10:23:15 AM): that’s my boy

 

 

Filed under: Uncategorized.

  add 1  RATING: 0