Archive for May, 2008

A gentleman is talented in a great many fine arts, from scrimshaw to poetry to paper folding and everything in between. The gentleman is also classically trained in a variety of musical instruments, which can come in handy for impromptu piano duets at a cocktail party, pitching in to help conduct an orchestra if the [...]


Sometimes, a menacing recession trips up the bullish tendencies of a gentleman, sending him spiraling into the red zone. In such dire cases — when even vacancies on various boards of directors cease to exist — it is vital that a gentleman secures steady and honorable employment in order to put drinking wages in his [...]


*Given the immensely warm reception received by our Top Ten Timeless Gentleman, The Foggy Monocle is proud to inform its loyal readers that every Thursday morning we will be donning white gloves and plucking a gentleman from the flotsam of Internet riffraff, and crowning him, Gentleman Of The Week. Trumpets please…


Fred Simmons, The Foot Fist [...]


A Gentleman Makes Calls

May 28th, 2008

The gentle coo and hum of the gentleman’s relaxed voice is a highly desired and pleasing sound, and thus is welcomed no matter what time of night the opportunity rings. With a busy schedule of business and leisure, often the only time a gentleman has available for personal calls is during the evening hours, somwhere [...]


A Gentleman Seeks Answers

May 28th, 2008

A gentleman is always taken seriously because a gentleman only discusses serious matters. What is the President’s direct number? How does my portfolio look? What is the price of grain in Nigeria? Where can I find the cheapest child labor for my new widget factory? Where is the nearest monocle store? These are the concerns [...]


A gentleman on the town is a magnificent creature indeed, and his liquored wit always makes him an attractive candidate for a menage-a-trois rendezvous. Lamentable indeed is the Drink’s power to release the gentleman’s grasp of his memory, whether that be the actual location of his bed or the physical properties of the girls he [...]


Despite his supreme wisdom, social finesse and unrivaled athletic prowess, there are times when even a gentleman is not at the controls. In such dire circumstances, when the monocle has grown foggy with booze, greed and, yes, even self-deception, a gentleman must seek the opinions of his closest allies and chief advisors: his friends and [...]


Despite his connection to various aristocrats and members of royalty, there is one member of the monarchy a gentleman will never mingle with: why none other, than that vile creature Henry IV. Lord no! When that regal rapscallion shows up, a gentleman does an immediate about face and heads straight to the nearest pub to [...]


The gentleman’s mind/body connection enjoys a truly wondrous relationship, for when the gentleman’s mind departs, whether it be the result of a whiskey blackout or a deep slumber, the gentleman’s body will continue to pursue it’s physical goals. Much like a 747 pilot will switch to autopilot after imbibing too hard in the captain’s lounge, [...]


A Gentleman Visualizes

May 22nd, 2008

Just because a gentleman’s behavior at a party seems as spontaneous, effortless and graceful as the lithe jazz riffs and delicious Steak au Poivre being served, doesn’t mean he didn’t first meticulously plot and scheme each and everyone of his moves with the foresight of a ruthless military tactician. As much as the gentleman lives [...]