While there are plenty of services catering to the fancies of the modern gentleman, when it comes to matters of physical rehabilitation, a true gentleman trusts no one’s expertise save his own. Remember, the deftest hands always belong to a gentleman.
Siestas&SudsMan: yo dude, it’s taco tuesday at Flannerys, that shitty irish pub, they have great tacos, let’s get some beers after work
SpaGeneral: no can do amigo
Siestas&SudsMan: por que?
SpaGeneral: got a spa appointment
Siestas&SudsMan: of the happy ending variety?
SpaGeneral: sort of, yes
SpaGeneral: the appointment is at my house
Siestas&SudsMan: you hired a masseuse?
SpaGeneral: this is a one-man job
Siestas&SudsMan: haha, sounds like a gentleman’s spa treatment
SpaGeneral: it goes something like this:
SpaGeneral: as soon as i get home
SpaGeneral: I fire up the internet
SpaGeneral: beat off
SpaGeneral: after soiling myself i head to the bathroom
SpaGeneral: but not before cranking up the tunes on the ol’ hi fi
SpaGeneral: some zz top perhaps
SpaGeneral: tres hombres
SpaGeneral: I take a long and satisfying deuce
SpaGeneral: then — light as a feather and drained of all pesky sexual urges — it’s off to the shower with a beer in hand and a long soak on the horizon
SpaGeneral: a gentleman has recharged his engines
Siestas&SudsMan: god, that sounds awesome. an urban vacation no less. The glow of internet porn is better than those smelly candles and the ZZ top is much more soothing than the Enya they play at the non-gentleman spas
SpaGeneral: exactly. i wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those dens of ill repute.
Siestas&SudsMan: you are like a new man, ready to face the challenges of the unemployed non-work week