Archive for April, 2008

The Kentucky Derby combines sharp dressing, copious bourbon consumption and high stakes gambling, and is thus one of the gentleman’s favorite annual sporting events. Unfortunately, in recent years this trifecta has been compromised with new rules and regulations about how much alcohol one can bring onto the premises (unfortunately, the approved amount is ‘none’). Therefore, [...]


A Gentleman Has Priorities

April 30th, 2008


Being in chief physical condition is a primary concern of any gentleman who aims to be as competitive on the squash court as he is in the boardroom. He considers his body to be an exotic, multi-cylinder, imported European sports car, and he treats it with the care of a certified master mechanic. For a [...]


A gentleman seldom requires teaching, for who is qualified to instruct such a man? Think again, dear readers. Though a gentleman avoids pitfalls with the grace and aplomb of a Russian ballet dancer, his benevolent spirit does, at times, put him amongst questionable company. Always willing to give a socially starved soul the benefit of [...]



Though he’s discerning when it comes to using it or not. For instance, a gentleman is incapable of bedding down an unattractive lady. It’s impossible, for his gentleman’s DNA will not allow it! Even in the most dire of circumstances, when a gentleman has over served himself, lost his wits and fallen into the clutches [...]


A Gentleman Frequents A Spa

April 29th, 2008

While there are plenty of services catering to the fancies of the modern gentleman, when it comes to matters of physical rehabilitation, a true gentleman trusts no one’s expertise save his own. Remember, the deftest hands always belong to a gentleman.

Siestas&SudsMan: yo dude, it’s taco tuesday at Flannerys, that shitty irish pub, they have [...]


Though irresistible to women, a gentleman is never opposed to dipping into is penny book, fetching a schilling or even a half a crown and paying for an evening of delicious carnal delights should the opportunity present itself. And despite the fact that the gentleman may get a bit worked up during the course of [...]


A Gentleman Looks For Clues

April 29th, 2008

Our collective monocles fell out when thinking that there actually exists bastards dastardly enough to accuse a gentleman of public disparagement. Despite the presence of increasingly mounting evidence, a gentleman always has a trump card to play during any tribunal: “If a gentleman does not remember it, it did not happen.” Case closed.
SherlockDude: somebody puked [...]


A Gentleman Goes To Scotland

April 28th, 2008

Let me offer my sincere apologies for the lack of posts on this Monday, April 28th, 2008. I spent the weekend in a remote part of the Scottish highlands, funneling their finest export. The Monocle’s other editor spent it in a major city known as Boston, where they apparently “don’t have the Internet.” Go figure. [...]


Black Tie Moan

April 25th, 2008

A gentleman will hone his negotiation skills in the boardroom, securing million dollar international merger deals and sending smaller developing countries into economic strife, and will do so in a swift manner so as not to be late to his three-martini luncheon at noon. These same negotiation skills can be put to use later in [...]


A Gentleman Never Rests

April 24th, 2008

Not even on Sunday! As gentleman lore goes, when the Lord proclaimed Sunday as the day of rest, he first struck a deal with the forefather of all gentlemen, who reasoned that a gentleman never rests due to his unwavering commitment to leisure, booze and the simultaneous pursuit of the two. The Lord concurred, sealing [...]